Are You Saving Yourself for Later?
Thinking about longevity through the lens of Participation rather than Preservation. Plus: Vogue Wellness Retreat, Someday by Sensation, and the Mistress Dispeller documentary
A Saturday morning newsletter? Why not! I actually started writing this last weekend with car horns and chanting coming through our open windows, the streets covered in bright red with Arsenal fans heading to the Champions Parade. Men were skipping. Everyone was beaming. It was a real nice day to be a North Londoner.
It made me think about how fun sport can be. Feeling part of something bigger, getting a sweat on, losing your inhibitions a little bit. And it doesn’t have to be professional sport either.
I was invited to the Vogue Wellness Retreat last week, which included a sports day (archery, egg and spoon race, archive Vogue book balancing…) and it was a great time. The three day retreat was hosted by Funmi Fetto, Beauty and Wellness Director of British Vogue at Estelle Manor. As expected, it was exceptional.
Lively talks, delicious meals, energising workouts, gorgeous rooms. The guest list included foreign correspondent Yalda Hakim, artists Lynette Yiadom-Boakye and Sahara Longe, restaurateur Ravinder Bhogal, among many other brilliant women. What I enjoyed most was the mix of perspectives- doctors talking to artists, filmmakers talking to founders, broadcasters talking to nutritionists.
I arrived knowing nobody and left with new friendships, future collaborations and a renewed appreciation for how quickly women can skip the small talk and get to the good stuff. Nothing quite like bonding over a “thermal journey” in a 3,000sqm Roman-inspired spa.
I was also honoured to speak on a panel with Dr Amy Shah and Dr Liza Osagie-Clouard on the topic of Aging in the Era of Longevity. In other words - what happens when we’re all supposed to live to 100 while somehow remaining 32 forever? A real Death Becomes Her predicament. It’s a topic very close to my heart - something that often comes up in client sessions and personally during catch ups with friends - and I think we need to rethink how and why longevity matters.
It's an important question because longevity has become one of the dominant conversations in wellness. We measure sleep, blood sugar, biological age, HRV, muscle mass, VO2 max. We’re tracking - we’re optimising - we’re preserving.
All useful, of course. But sometimes wellness can start to feel like we’re trying to keep ourselves preserved in a display case. Pristine and perfect. The problem is that life isn’t like that - it happens outside the glass.
We change careers, move countries, have children, start businesses, get obsessed with new hobbies and occasionally stay out too late. Good health should help us participate in all of that, not retreat from it.
Which brings me to an idea I’ve been thinking about recently: What if wellness was about Participation over Preservation?
Have you got your ticket?
When you’re well, you can participate more fully in the life you want. A life that asks for flexibility of body and mind and is allowed to change shape over time. You can take the long haul flight, start the ambitious project, eat the candy, say yes to things. Health gives you options.
As a nutritional therapist, this is often the shift I’m trying to help clients make. Very rarely does someone come to me because they want a lower fasting glucose score for the sake of it. The numbers matter but usually because of what they make possible.
Basically - and forgive me for being a tad dorky here - wellness isn’t the destination, it’s the ticket to ride.
Perhaps some of the most important markers of health are the ones we rarely measure at all - curiosity, adaptability and enthusiasm.
What struck me at the retreat wasn’t the discussion around longevity, fascinating as it was. It was how engaged everyone seemed to be with life. People were learning, debating, sharing ideas, making plans, encouraging each other, laughing. There was a palpable sense of momentum in the room…those felt like signs of health too.
In clinic, I often find myself paying attention to these things as much as symptoms. Is someone making plans again? Feeling excited about the future? Reconnecting with hobbies? Seeing friends more often? It’s not a diagnostic tool but it can tell you a lot about how somebody is really doing.
If we think about health as participation, it offers up a different and more actionable approach to wellbeing. Health that works in real life rather than requiring ideal conditions.
Three Participation Markers
I want to propose something a little different this week. Rather than talking about brilliant Breakfast Soups or specific herbs and veggies, let’s think about health through the lens of participation.
Curiosity
What are you interested in right now? Eg a book you can’t wait to read, a place you’d like to visit, a skill you’d like to learn. Curiosity is often a sign that we’re engaged with the future rather than simply getting through the day.
If your curiosity feels low, don’t wait for it to magically return. Feed it. Listen to a podcast outside your usual interests or take a different route home. Curiosity grows through exposure.Enthusiasm
What are you looking forward to this week? I think anticipation is one of the most underrated wellbeing practices around. Having something in the diary creates momentum.
If nothing springs to mind, schedule something. Can be small. A walk with a friend, a movie to watch tomorrow afternoon. Enthusiasm often follows action rather than preceding it.
Adaptability
How many things need to go right before you can have a good day?
The healthiest people I know aren’t necessarily the ones with the most perfect routines, they’re the ones who can absorb disruption and still feel pretty good (note I didn’t say ‘thrive’ or ‘amazing')If your health currently relies on ideal conditions, look for opportunities to practise flexibility. Adaptability is a skill and skills improve with practice.
Curiosity, enthusiasm and adaptability don’t replace markers for sleep, movement or good nutrition but they can be useful signals that those foundations are doing their job. They help us zoom out from the individual habits and participate in the life those habits are supposed to support.
The gist: wellness should expand your life, not become your life.
What’s fed me
It’s not just food. Everything you take in shapes how you think and feel. Here’s what I’ve been up to that’s nourished my creative brain:
‘Fun and Gains’ by Morgan Fargo. Back in March, I chatted with Morgan Fargo, British Vogue’s beauty and wellness editor, about the weird one-size-fits-all wellness approach that was going on:
One thing Morgan and I touched on was context. Wellness advice often assumes an imaginary person with unlimited time, unlimited money and unlimited control over their environment. Most of us are operating under slightly different conditions.
Our chat is now included in the latest issue of of the magazine with Anok Yai on the cover (her story is GORGEOUS). Go grab a copy.
‘Someday’ by Sensation. I spent some time in LA last month and whenever I’m there, I prioritise hangs with my (basically) family Marisa, Terence, and their toddler Jade. There’s always lots to do but I have to say breakfast chats with these three is often the highlight of my trip.
Aside from doing countless creative projects, Terence also makes music with Daniel de Lara under the name Sensation and they’ve just released a beautiful new EP called A Heaven. I’ve had the second track Someday on repeat since i first heard it. Play it loud and let it transport you somewhere warm and full of possibility.
Mistress Dispeller dir. Elizabeth Lo (2024). On the flight back to London I watched this documentary about a woman who hires a ‘mistress dispeller’ to secretly end her husband’s affair. It’s SO good. I watched it with mouth agape. One of those films that immediately makes you text your pals asking, '“have you seen this?”
Well, have you? Because if you have - get in touch - must discuss!
enjoyed this dispatch from the Vogue retreat and I have seen Mistress dispeller 🙋♀️
Every single word 💯💯💯